Originally published in Redbrick (redbrickpaper.co.uk)
“This is the manifesto of Mother Monster.” Gaga has grown weary of her creative reigns at the Haus of Gaga, and is setting her sights on a broader target – the world. We’re taking a step-by-step guide through the lady’s latest masterpiece: seven minute extravaganza for “Born This Way”.
We open on a shot of a trippy, glittery unicorn from a seventies sci-fi film. A bit more suspenseful music and, voila, Lady Gaga herself appears in a revolving cube in space. We’re then (lucky us!) treated to several shots that can only be interpreted as a gleaming, glistening, kaleidoscopic vajayjay. Which is quite hypnotic and pretty for a slimy, ethereal space vagina. However, at this point, the video gets a little confusing– with Gaga monologue-ing about the “mitosis of life” and the “numbering wombs”. Something about giving birth to Good and Evil.
Oh, and another race gets born? A race which “bears no prejudice, no judgement, but boundless freedom.” This seems like a clever bit of political correctness from the Head of Human Resources at the Haus of Gaga. It’s very all-loving, no hatin’, we are all one, all I want is world peace, thank you for crowning me Miss Multiverse…personally, I wanted something a bit more hard core from Gaga. Maybe a little edgier – she can pull off some fantastically controversial outfits, but then seems to bail a little when she pulls out a song that sounds like classic Madonna in the Desperately Seeking Susan days.
The next crucial scene for true Gaga manifesto domination is a little freak show product placement. Cue special appearance from Rick Genest – aka ‘Zombie Boy’, covered head to toe in tattoos to make him look like a member of the undead. After being discovered on Facebook, he is now ‘muse’ for Nicole Formichetti (creative director for Thierry Mugler) and does a little wooden dancing with Gaga. Not one to be stood up sartorially, she whips around some massive pink hair extensions, like a zombiefied My Little Pony. Which I actually quite like, but maybe I’ve been listening to too much Willow Smith.
Finally, some extra-skinny dancing in her unmentionables and Lady G glides off into the distance on afore mentioned glittery unicorn. This is – in classic Lady Gaga fashion – very aesthetically pleasing, but also tiresomely confusing. Maybe scale it down a bit next time, Stefani.